Bumpdate: Week 26

Weight: 1.7 pounds
Length: 14 inches
Kale

Ok, who knows how big a kale is?! That is ridiculous, I have never actually seen a kale as a single entity. My kale comes in bags of leaves from the supermarket… and is a great source of folic acid 😀

This was a weird week, on one day I wasn’t getting many kicks, but I was getting continuous wriggles and I am pretty certain that Pip completely flipped over as he has now started kicking really high up, it was crazy!

I’ve also had cravings back this week for the first time in a while- anything salty is fair game in our house and I have really started wanting olives. I can’t wait to see what you want to snack on.

As I am not sure how to measure my own fundal height, I measured the circumference of my bump this week… it’s 36″ and still a little smaller than Chris, but he is a foot taller than me and I don’t know how much longer I will be able to say that as Pip’s got some serious growing to do over the next few weeks.

I have been away too long…

It feels like this has been a very long story, so a quick update may be in order…

The first month passed and I was feeling pretty positive, but AF came anyway. Then, the second month passed and still no positive, and I lost hope.

We have been trying for nearly 12 months, both charting and not charting. I know my body, I know how this whole thing works, we’re not using old wives tales, it’s pure hard science and it’s not working.

I figured that after this long there must have been a deeper problem. The odds were stacking up against us; Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (i.e. the Bible) states that on average you should get pregnant with 4 months of charting, even my phone app reckoned that most people log a positive pregnancy test with 2 months… Even if you’re going at it completely blind, 4 months should be plenty!

But it had been 12 months and nothing. Not even a chemical! I just wanted to see a hint of a little line on that stick!!!!

I’d had super long luteal phases with over 16 high temps, but no positive pregnancy test and I’d had super short 10 day luteal phases. My cycles were getting less consistent with the on going months: I had gone from a 10/11 day LP ending for on cycle day 32 (for about 6 months) up to my most recent and longest cycle at 42 days – I didn’t even know when I was “late” anymore!

I had been resigned to asking the doctor for infertility tests in September, I couldn’t go on like this any longer. It was putting a strain on me and the schedule was putting a strain on us. We needed answers.

But then something amazing happened… It’s as if my body knew that I’d given it a deadline.

I started bleeding at the end of August, just on our way out to Blackpool to celebrate my birthday and I was gutted (but at least this time I had a plan) and at least we could go to the Pleasure Beach and ride the rollercoasters now! By the time we arrived, I still hadn’t had anymore blood and we decided to hold off “just in case;” we watched some magic, we went to the fair, we walked along the seaside and ate candy floss… then we went home.

A week later and I still hadn’t had any more signs of AF, but it was Chris’ birthday and we didn’t want to put a downer on it by getting our hopes up and getting another negative. We tested the following day and got a positive!

And it was dark!

In the last 12 months we had never even had a squinter and now we had two lovely dark lines!

Chris was literally bouncing off the walls!

Our lives had completely changed!

In the next 9 months I will be writing a weekly post about what’s going on, fingers crossed it’s all plain sailing from here.

X

Change of plan

Today is:

TCC month: 5

Cycle Day: 15 (11dpo) 

Mood: positive

I felt so dejected at the beginning of this month, I was utterly miserable. I had an appointment with my gp (which I had to wait a week to book and then an hour in the waiting room!) which was completely useless. He didn’t think there was anything that was proven to lengthen a luteal phase and offered no suggestions other than to come back in 10 months!!! As far as I was aware fertility treatment begins after 12 months of trying, but apparently no; its 15!!!
At least he respected the knowledge that I did have and realised that I had done my research (small victories, hey!)

This month we have decided to scrap all the measuring and planning. I have turned my apps off, ignored my thermometer and charting. The plan is similar to the SPEM plan, and basically to enjoy each other and stop calculating. 

I learned that cortisone and progesterone inhabit the same receptors in the body, so biologically speaking; if you are stressed (producing lots of cortisone) then you will have lower levels of progesterone and it really is harder to get pregnant!!! I don’t feel “stressed” about it, but it is occupying a lot of my waking thoughts, so I’m up for trying something new. 

This month I have been more noticeably dry everywhere; including not sweating at the gym and having really dry skin, which I have never noticed before. Luckily though, from cd13 this has started to get a bit better and I am generally feeling less dry!!!

The research that I have been doing makes me wonder if I might have insufficient b6, so I have started taking a b complex vitamin this month (which, coincidentally, I started taking around cd13) and have changed from seven seas vitamins to pregnacare. The pregnacare are HUGE!!! 

  

But there are considerably more active ingredients in them than in seven seas. I know that all I technically really need is folic acid, but maybe my balanced diet isn’t balanced enough. 

Please cross your fingers tightly that this is the month!!!

Midnight update!

Today is still;

TCC month: 4
Cycle Day: 33 (11dpo) 

Mood: reflective

We caved and took a test! I know, I know; it’s supposed to be first morning urine! But it was at least a 3 hour hold, so I hoped it might be enough… It wasn’t. 

BFN!

I feel so much worse seeing it now than I did this morning. Truly, gut wrenchingly, disappointed. In the same way that I did on Christmas morning… Maybe it’s a symptom of Aunt Flo on her way. 

I was prepared for the bfn, it was the wrong time of day and I have had more than I would consider to be a reasonable amount of spotting between 8pm and midnight (when I took the test) so I didn’t expect to feel the hit of sadness when I saw it. 

Now I’m resigned to the fact that we are out this month, and it’s onwards and upwards (the only way from this point) 

Good night guys, I guess it’s time to book my doctor’s appointment to take my charts in after all. Month 5 here we come – I’m certain this will be the one!

D-Day? … Or is it?!

Today is…TTC month: 4
Cycle Day: 33 (11dpo)
Mood: confused 

This morning started quite negatively when I think about it; I woke up to an even lower temperature than yesterday, and as it was 10dpo and the expected day of AF I took a hcg test with FMU… That was negative!

I think you’ll agree it’s not the best start to the day. However, I have never been late before so I was still hopeful that it was just too soon for a positive test (the low bbt was harder to ignore!) I told Chris that I was still expecting to get my period this morning, as I just didn’t feel right, and went to work. 
After an uncomfortable morning of feeling achy, but definitely not crampy, and generally “wet” I was surprised not to see blood when I went to the bathroom. Feeling a little hopeful, I then spent the entire afternoon the same! This is really unusual for me, as normally I start on the day my app estimates (although my luteal phase is normally a little longer than 10dpo) before 8am, or at the very latest before 10am. 
Even when I was on the pill, I always started in the morning once I had got going for the day. I don’t remember the last time I started later than that. Also, I don’t normally have any fluid at this time in the month- what’s that all about?!

I have been controlling how much I let myself drink today, I’m still really thirsty but I am only letting myself drink when I REALLY need to, and only up to 300ml in a single mouthful. The last few days I have been wanting to down a whole pint every few hours, and I worried this was making my head feel cloudy. I have been feeling much better today, although I have still been thirsty!!!

Still no real symptoms;

  • I have a general low aching around my pelvis, but nothing specific. 
  • Low bbt of 36.2 degrees Celsius (below my cover line!) 
  • Some brown spotting, but no more than the last 2 days
  • Bloating (which I always get before AF)

These are definitely no indicative of AF or pregnancy and I don’t really know what to think right now. I am really hopeful that this is it, and my thirst and cf are the only symptoms I need- it is only 10dpo after all!

I have been chatting with other ladies who are expecting AF today, over on the Pink Pad forums, which is helping the time pass quicker and is making me more and more confident that this is it. The disappointingly negative start turned into a rather exciting day!!!
 I am soooo confused today! 

Noooooo!

Today is…TTC month: 4

Cycle Day: 32 (10dpo)

Mood: disappointed

I woke up this morning so excited by the possibilities that today could bring! I was so ready to take a test with FMU and go into work trying to disguise the massive smile on my face, but no… Within minutes of me waking up my thermometer bleeped to let me know it was ready… I took it out of my mouth… Turned it around… And read the temperature…

36.5!!!!!

What is going on?! This is so unfair?! It is 10dpo, it is too early for my temperature to drop, to all intents and purposes, it looks like my short luteal phase has just become even shorter! 
Looks like I am booking a doctor’s appointment this week, but it’s not the one I was hoping for!
I feel sick! 
… Update – 5pm and I have just realised that I have stopped feeling sick! I have had such a cloudy head and nausea all day. No cramps though and no sign of AF yet. I’m not hoping that this mornings temperature was a fluke, if it’s back up again tomorrow (like I’m hoping) then I will 100% take a test in the morning!!!

Spotting, at 8dpo?

Today is…TTC month: 4

Cycle Day: 30 (8dpo)

Mood: optimistic

It has been a really busy today, so there hasn’t been much time to dwell on my symptoms! But I am happy to report that my cold is officially over!!! My nose isn’t blocked any more and my temperature is back up to a respectable luteal phase temp of 36.9 degrees Celsius this morning.  
I’ve been really thirsty today, I drank a huge amount yesterday, I thought maybe it was something to do with my cold but today I just haven’t been able to quench my thirst. I had drank a litre of water before I got out of bed! And had another litre before lunch!

Normally, I don’t drink anywhere near enough so this is quite unusual for me, and it’s becoming quite inconvenient as I need the toilet ALL THE TIME!!!

This morning I had a tiny amount of brown spotting, when I wiped and a minuscule account (like a single drip from a tap) in a panty liner over the entire day. 

Around lunchtime, I also had one instance of pink spotting (which I have never seen before!) but that was it. 

I’m 8dpo today, so this sounds quite promising to me, at first I thought it might have been the start of AF really early, but that seems really unlikely and I’m hoping for implantation bleeding!!! I haven’t had any noticeable cramping at all though, so the question is; can you have implantation bleeding without implantation cramping? 

I assume you can, the pain is supposed to be so minor, that it’s not exactly going to wake you up in the night and just because there isn’t detectable pain at the moment of implantation doesn’t mean that a blood vessel hasn’t also been ruptured in the process. 

Got my fingers tightly crossed, but still trying not to get my hopes up!

Big update!

Today is…
TTC month: 4
Cycle Day: 29 (7dpo)
Mood: sick
I ovulated a little later than normal this month (CD22) and had TWO whole days of positive OPKs – this is unusual for me as I don’t always get one clear positive, so I’m hoping this is a good sign. 
But the last three days I have had an awful cold, it started in my throat and moved to my head and nose, I feel so miserable! I’m tired and achy all the time because of the cold … And possibly because I went to Kettlercise for the first time in a month on Wednesday morning and 2 days later I still can’t walk properly!!! Unfortunately, this means that I can’t tell if I have had any symptoms and had completely out paid to my symptom spotting and it has completely messed up my BBT, I had a massive spike progressing up to 39.9 degrees Celsius until 4dpo then it dropped straight back down to my average 36.6 degrees for the last 3 days. 

I am not confident about this month, not like last month when it was “perfect”. The whole month has just been bad timing, I ovulated on the day before my uncle’s funeral which wasn’t exactly good timing, and now this cold has me wiped out when I should be feeling positive!!!

I am so prepared for a negative already hat I am armed with a plan for next month! I am going to see the doctor; I know it’s only been 4 months, but I am concerned that my luteal phase is too short (on average 11 days) which I know doesn’t put my in the “definitely an issue” category, but it IS far less than ideal. Hopefully if I take my charting with me and sound knowledgable, he won’t just tell me to come back in 8 months!!!
I also looked back at my old charts, and I think I might have been pregnant on month 2. What do you think? …

  

This looks to me like the start of a triphasic graph if ever I saw one, it just ends in a period at day 11.  I know that to be officially triphasic, the second rise must last for at least three days, but this is two days and then my period out lid to any further rising. I wish I had taken a test at 10dpo, just before my period was due, then at least I’d know. 

If it is a positive chart then that’s further fuel that my short-ish luteal phase is a problem. 

It’s Christmas!!!

Today is…TTC month: 3

Cycle Day: 1 

Mood: shocked 
When I started today it was cycle day 32 (11dpo) and I was convinced I was pregnant! I had no real symptoms to talk about, but it was Christmas morning and it would have been a perfect present (although conceiving today would land my due date right around both of our birthdays!!!)
We got up early to take a test before starting the official Christmas Day, and even used a digital so it would be clear and easy to read (and we wouldn’t have to ‘discuss’ whether there was a line or not!) … We sat at the top of the stairs for two minutes waiting for the results, and they were negative… BFN!

Approximately 1 hour later, AF chose to show her ugly face, but it least I could enjoy my baileys and cheese on Christmas night 😆
Merry Christmas everyone!

Finishing the day on a high

Today is…

TTC month: 3

Cycle Day: 31 (11dpo)

Mood: disappointed 

I woke up this morning debating whether or not I should take a test, I was soooo excited (and it’s not even Christmas yet!) I 100% not to, as my DH is really excited too and I couldn’t do it without him, got up and went to the bathroom, then I wanted to cry…
I thought we were completely out for the month, 2 days to AF and brown spotting had to be the precursor to AF, but then out of nowhere it STOPPED and 11 hours later I haven’t seen anther drop!!!! 
Testing for Christmas morning (12dpo) is now back on and my fingers are crossed so tightly my knuckles are white!